If ever a month seemed filled with desultory thoughts, and moods, it is November…….I don’t quite have Meg March’s negative take on it from the beginning of Little Women:
“November is the most disagreeable month in the whole year,” said Margaret, standing at the window one dull afternoon, looking out at the frostbitten garden.
“That’s the reason I was born in it,” observed Jo pensively, quite unconscious of the blot on her nose.
“If something very pleasant should happen now, we should think it a delightful month,” said Beth, who took a hopeful view of everything, even November.”
I agree with Beth and know that Thanksgiving is coming up, not all that far away. It’s nearly my favorite holiday, after all. And my family is the sort which enjoys being together and is nothing like the difficult ones we encounter in books or tv. (At least I hope you only encounter them in such places.)
But perhaps being in the still recovering phase of my surgery last week has made me feel more unsettled than usual. Or perhaps more impatient. I am still dodging bullets and though the surgeon was convinced ahead of time that the tumor he planned to remove was not cancerous and removal was all that needed to be done, at the last minute a flurry of tests discovered a wonky parathyroid which has probably making me feel very tired for perhaps years, and “sucking calcium from my bones” as Dr. H. said to Alice several times, and at the end, three thyroid tumors one of which was the big C were all discovered. Well, they are all gone now. No thyroid at all. It’s been decided that I do not need that radioactive iodine treatment and I have begun synthroid. I’m sleeping better than I have for years though still tired and restless………I must just possess my soul in patience and think about the happy Thanksgiving soon to come…….In fact, I should be having a happy Thanksgiving in my heart right now and reflecting on that is making me begin to smile…….
When I asked the endocrinologist whether the 14 nuclear scans I had had when diagnosed (they now think mistakenly) with metastasized melanoma might have contributed to this newest problem, she said “very likely”. Life is funny, and I don’t mean “funny ha ha”.
Last Wednesday was a new holiday, World Kindness Day, and I wanted to write something about that! The energy to do so escaped me, but I love the idea. Everyday should be a day of kindness. Even though we cannot solve the problems that greed for various things seems to have thrown out over our sad world, (why I keep thinking this is something new eludes me) we can practice kindness and make our small part of the world better. (Oh, do you think surgery brings out the preachy in me? ) I really do experience so much kindness from others that I have to pass it on!